JSS TRIPPLER Diary Part 4

Well, this is my third day using JSS TRIPPLER ...
so far I have made $0,6 WITHOUT doing anything ! AWESOME ! Just like I have an account in a bank with 60 % interest in a month !

Here it is ...

Is this some kind of money game ? HYIP ? or something like that ? Well, I think It is ... :)
Why do you join them ? Well, because It's free, and you can ask the other just to join, doing their $10 initial investment and ask somebody else to join ... :p

Sound crazy and desperate huh ? Well, I don't know how to make money online and I want some money on my own pocket ... :)

Well, whatever your reason is ... It's worth !

Doctor's Sad Story

When I was a kid back then, all I really know was my family, when I entered a school, I knew another good people called friend. Some of them were good with you, spent their time with you, talk with you, going home together, walking. That is such a good memories back then. When we got our high school, all of it suddenly vanished, most of them are cruel to you. Not about bullying, it's like they are wearing mask, and different mask for different people. When I got into a college, I feel like I have nobody. Well, I taught I have a lot of friend ... yeah some lyrics from simple plan song "I'm Just the Kid". That song seem right to me seeing things back then. Now in a real world I feel that everybody become a suspicious to you.

Well here's the story. I got an SMS from an old friend. He asked me like this "Do you know an good internist out there ?" I said "No, I don't. What happen ? Why would you need one ?" He replied "Well, I need some good internist interpret my lab result."; "Oh, you're doctor right ? Can you help me ?" "Ok, just come to my office, I need to do some physical examination." His answer really broke my heart, "I only need to know that I have no Hepatitis or like that because my liver function test is rather high." I replied it : "Well, just come to my place and we talk about it further." and he never replied again. From this conversation, we can see that Indonesian people distrust their general practitioner, they tend to seek cheaper solution even 20 years later it will make render them useless. The other thing that break my heart is well, I'm your childhood friend dude, we play together back then when there is nobody around. How can I do something harmful to you ?

I wish he know this ...  

JSS TRIPPLER Diary Part 3

This morning I've open my account and I see some number there, from $ 0 -I invest $ 10 that I get free from JSS Tripler, to $ 0,2. Wow, It's not bad at all. It recall me some old anime doraemon. In one of his series, he lend nobita a magic bank. It will pay nobita 100 % interest in 1 minute from any money that nobita invest in it.
I think it's just the same with saving some money in the bank with 60 % interest in a month, or you can say 2 % in a day. I used their calculator, and it's exactly as I described in the previous sentence. Wow !

So I think I will invest some money in it and watch it how it grows ...

ok guys, while all of you read this, my JSS Trippler account make money for me ... If you want to join ... well, check this out !

JSS TRIPPLER Diary Part 2

Hello !

After I joined JSS Trippler, I try to remember a few things that my friend told me to do. Well, I've invest my free $10 and I have been upgrade my level to level 2. The next thing I need to do is make a payza account. My friend said that payza is a good one, so I make them one. It's not too difficult to make at all. Well, It's done now what should I do next ???

Well, All of you guys stay tuned and try this and see for yourself ! 

JSS TRIPPLER Diary Part 1

A few days ago, my friend, told me about making money online through some investment program. He told me that it save his days. Well, literally I've seen with my very own eyes that he paid his son school entrance fee, and buy some books for his another son that a fresh college boy. Well, he never ask me to join, but I told him that I will join when I'm ready to.

Yesterday, I saw him clicking something through his laptop, well, he show me his account, It's a JSS Trippler account. He told me one or two things as if I would join him and the final word I told him I will join after conduct some investigation. I've found that his proposition was not like the others, very forceful, so I decide to join him, hey it's free and The  JSS Trippler gave you $10 to invest ! Very generous !

I hope you enjoy my next article ... by the way you can click this and see for yourself :)

Ressurection

Hi All ...
I've not wrote anything since last time ...
Am I OK ?!
Yeah ...

Well, that's a short conversation with my facebook friend. I've been busy lately. My quarrel with some people and my new activities are surging over and over again. But it has calmed down. Well, That for all today, oh yea, I have some information to share with all of you about making money online. OK, let me finish this article and we'll talk about it

Hope you can enjoy my articles or you can say online diary :)

The Unsaid Words

When I have an intense conversation with a nurse this morning, I've found myself so irritated. She said that some people in the clinic didn't like my actions in the clinic. At first It's nothing to me, but when she said something about my work, It was irritated me more. I realized that my work is not always a perfect but, I need to know which is my work that not satisfied and the one who felt that way, so I can fix my methods. Unfortunately, she made a wrong turn when she didn't tell me who is the one that unsatisfied with my works and in what case. She didn't hit the break, yet she accelerate more by saying that I couldn't receive a critics, well she had crashed then, and the conversation was over. I walk to my motorcycle and went to another clinic.

Actually I feel ashamed right now because I'm so irritated that time. There was unspoken words that never be spoken that time : "It's not a criticism but more like a reproach to me". I just can't said that and just gone ...

The Entangled Memories

Have you ever fall in love ? -Yes- Most of us have fallen in love at least once. Have you ever recall a memories of your past romance stories ? Most of us would said yes, we have ... Today, I have a journey to a Purwodadi, a small town located in eastern central java. I have an errand from my office. When our car stopped to have a lunch this afternoon, We stopped in a small restaurant. Somehow, it felt so nostalgic, then I asked one of the maid there, she said that this restaurant used to be smaller than nowadays. Finally I recognized this restaurant as a memorable restaurant.

Well, almost 3 years has been passed since that day. It was rainy and the restaurant was so small and very crowded. I was a medical student in a forensic internship that days. It was a good days. When we finished some business in Purwodadi back then we have a lunch together that time, in that small restaurant, with that large group of medical student from 3 universities. Love can bloom anytime they said, everywhere, and every moment, event in the direst moment. I fell for her that time, but well, she's gone now, without a proper words.

Well, I guess this visit is a farewell for you, dear ... May you find what you've searched for all this time out there ...

Pain is Power !

When delusion taste better than real world ... -Yes-, We sometimes experienced this kind of feeling. Most of us usually searching a "reset" button to end this nightmare. But, this guys were different, they dwelled themselves into delusion more than they usually did. Hikonin Sentai Akibaranger told us about these kind guy. This unofficial sentai was released in April 9th and rated mature rather than kid because it can broke kids image about sentai.

All member of this group were otaku, a nerd if you want to know what otaku is. They have their own dream, unreached maybe, and they cover each other ass, but it's not clear what is the purpose of the gear founder Ms. Hakase ... :) Well, I think I'm going to see where this interesting story roll out.

Pain is Power !

World's Ugly Face

Have ever seen a whore ? Not many people have ever see one. But have you ever seen a mother ? Many of us have ever seen one. When I get a night shift a couple days ago, I have a very late patient. She is very beautiful in her brown mini skirt and she wears a heavy make up. For a moment, I was stunned, but I got my nerves back and the therapeutic contract was established. From her physical examination I learned that she already a mother, and she got an upper respiratory tract infection.

She told me that she had a little girl back home with her unemployed father. I've finished the contract by giving her prescribing and she gone. In the morning, about 6 A.M, She returned while carrying her unconscious little girl about 5 years old. I checked her fast and learned that she got a febrile convulsion 15 minutes ago, I checked her and I need to hospitalized her.

When I proposed her mother to do it, She said "Sorry doctor, I can only take her to you, not any one else, because I got no costumer last night you know." I feel sad for her and I give her some antibiotic, some anti-convulsion drug and fever-lowering drug for her child and told her to bring her to the hospital when she got worse.

Honestly, I don't know the continuation of  the little girl's story, but I guess she got some pneumonia back then. I hope she would be okay ...

The Rabbit

This morning, I saw a cute brown rabbit in front of my house. He twinkle his ears and rub it, very cute as if he told me to catch him. When I approach him, he run and stop, looking at me as if he said "Can we play again ?" I tried to catch him several time. but he always running away and always keep a distance and watch me as if he mocked me "Is that all you got ?!" I told myself not trying to catch him again, but I tried again and he finally go into an empty backyard, gone !

This event triggered old memory of my experience with girls all this time. When I chased a girl I was being fooled like with him. Most of them said nothing when they gone away. I learned a bitter lesson one by one and finally learned that love was not a sole reason to married someone. In javanese philosophy, there are Bibit, Bebet and Bobot. Bibit means seed, whose descendant our spouse was. Bebet means our spouse has a good nature and can be socialized well. Bobot means our spouse has an ability to make money and able to guarantee the welfare of his/ her family, in the other word for a wife, it means being able to manage the family funding.

  

Flattered

When I wake up this morning, I saw a cat passed by. I remembered an advice from an old friend of mine. "Try to praise the cat" he said, "Most of them will eventually stopped by and looked at you" he continue his words. I call the cat "Hello pretty !" and magically she turn his face around and I can give her a good rub on her back and head. She eventually sit and enjoy my rub !

This is a good lesson, we knew a fact that most creature love to be flattered. We are just the same with them, but we showed it in a different way and sometime we knew that we are being flattered. Most of our reaction is blushing, and for some people that dislike it, they still said that they were flattered.

So, have you flattered someone today ?

Nobility of a Job

When we saw some people do certain job, a dirty one, we often pout what they do for their life. When we look closer, we are not much different from them who do an inappropriate job, just make some money for life. I didn't agree with robbery, thievery, debauchery, or some kind like that, what I was trying to say that sometime in our job, we do it just the same way as they did.

As an example, as a general practitioner in Indonesia, we are demanded to provide an excellent medical service with a minimum price. We, doctors, are not shaman, we need to perform a good physical examination, few laboratory examinations and you must buy your own drugs in our prescriptions. Most important of all we need make money to fund our live, buy our needs. More problems occur when incompetent person give some medication to a sick people (including a common people who buy a prescription drug on their own).

All problems we have, shown us how chaotic is the healthcare regulation in our country. Most healthcare regulation are for doctors and pharmacists. The regulation itself rather than giving a protection, just more pressure to them. In the addition, the unclear of law processing regulation make some side extort money from its victims. So, what can we do as a doctor ? Read more, Do more practice and hone your skills. So we can survive in this chaotic world and make a honest money for our living.

Guan Yu

In the age of wars, China has evolve into a great country. In the end of Han dynasty, The Romance of Three Kingdom Era, China has fallen into a chaos. Just like an ancient China sayings "Even In The Deepest Prairie, The Movement of a Dragon Cause Ripples", Dragon here means a change of government. In their daily life.

Commoner have no idea what's happen with their leaders, landlord. They only know how to do their job, but several people that have a little knowledge about philosophy and have a courage can nominate themselves as a hero that will bring unification in China once more, named Cao Cao. Lucky for him, standing in a correct place make him became the last faction that standing in that era of chaos, but not for long.

In The other side we learned the ancient noble family that has lost its power. They seek a noble figure that supported by people, The chosen one. They finally found someone, Liu Bei, the unwanted son-in-law of the old mother queen of Shu. But in the end his faction is the first faction that fall apart. -Was heaven toying with his people ?- "No !" Their falling is natural, because they loose their resources, Phang Thong, Zhu Ge Liang, and the next was Guan Yu.

Which heroes tales were the most famous of all in that era ? Most people will answer Guan Yu. What make him so famous ? Most of them said, his capability in a battlefield, his skill, his courage. When we talk about all of stregth we must not forget Lu Bu, he can't be beaten by  Guan Yu and his comrades. Then, what makes his tale famous ? His moral code and his rigidity to maintain it even sometime it give himself a disadvantage. One of the most well known chapter revealing this trait when he was captured by Cao Cao, All of Cao cao gift was accepted but he still wear an old cloth that given by Liu Bei. 

In this era of chaos nowadays, we almost never see a figure like him. His moral code yet his rigidity to maintain it is a rare yet valuable trait nowadays. Most people searched fast money, fast result, and the end corrupted act. Well, I'll leave the next thing to all of you ...Will you admired him only or, make yourself walk into the same path as him, the path of heroes ... ?

    

The X Factor

In certain stage in our live, we often confront a reality that not just match with books. Is that books tell us lies ? No, it;s not, but certain condition can turn everything out differently. Some misfortune event became a blessing and even blessing became a disaster. We call the certain condition the X factor. Not all X factor show us the result of their addition right away. some need the other x factor that can trigger additional event and eventually give us some result. It will be handy if we can predict those X factors and related events. But we can't. Too bad  ...

The only thing we can do to make the desired event occur and another X factor reveal themselves is exploring all possibility and pray that all things we have done eventually lead us to a good one. :)

Someone Like You

In our journey, we experience losing someone, a heartbreak. That's unpleasant experience, but it makes us grow somehow. In the nest turn we found ourselves fall in love again for someone else or shut our circle off and choose not to fall again. Sometime we just make the same choice and seek someone like him or her and eventually the history was repeated agin. 

Everyone have their own reason and they have right to do whatever they want to do in their life. Being loved or love someone is a delicate feeling yet so fragile and sometime turned into the opposite of it even we don't know and without our consciousness, we make our spouse troubled.

Not all marriage are based on love, some marriage often based on money or family trait and sometime that kind love story became a tragedy, like in the movies. Seeing somebody that you hate or somebody that you have to love even you don't know him or her it's painful situation at the first time. Will love grow ? Only time will tell us

Exhausted ...

Well ... I've night shift again yesterday, and now I was burned out. hufftt ....
I can't write any more .. I guess I have to sleep for now ... but ... before I passed out I have a story ...
Once upon a time there is a samurai that will be executed tomorrow, that night he can't sleep. Then he remembered a good advice from his old master ... What happens tomorrow will stay tomorrow ... today ... let's get some rest ... zzzzz

The Benelovent Fool

When I read this article, I remembered an old comic book, the title is Jigoku Sensei Nube. In some Indonesian edition there were a very tearful episodes. It was episodes that told us about Nube past. Well for you who never read one, I spoil a little detail about Nube. He is a silly and poor teacher in a Domori Elementary School, despite his stupid looking, he is very powerful exorcist, thanks to his "demon hand". His "demon hand" is a very powerful demon that sealed in his left hand, and it has great and numerous spiritual powers. There is a special episode that told us about the origin of his "demon hand".

His father is the infamous exorcist in Domori City but always demand an enormous amount of money for his job. Nube never approve him as his father anymore because for Nube, The exorcist never took an advantage of people in needs of their powers. There is a flashback how all this thing happens, when Nube still child his mother sick and died because there is nobody willingly lend some money to cure his mother, even some people that have been helped by his father rudely reject his plead. This is a turning point that make Nube's father demand an enormous amount money for his job. In a contrary, Nube stay poor as a teacher and help anybody without demanding a payment.

I've found myself in this some kind situation for a while, but I've decided that I'll do my job as a physician as a professional do and make my living from it because I want to be happy in this life and to fulfill that, I need to have some money. Well, everyone has its own reason ...

In The Name of Love

Love is a holly, pure, sacred, make people grow. In certain stage of life, we learn about the other gender, about love and wish to obtain someone to share our laughs and grieves, everything in life. But sometime we tarnish it, and saying that it was in the name of love, the adultery in a courtship period. Whose fault is that ? Whose responsibility is that ? In ancient times, woman was the one who blame for an adultery, like those in bible, John 8:2-11, Jesus and the adulterous woman. In that chapter, we learned that Jesus returned the favor into our own conscience. He said that everyone who has the least of all sins may stoning the woman first. So, whose fault is the adultry in a courtship period ? -Both of them- Everyone has it own reason to defend themselves, a scapegoat.

When we look into this chapter further, we found that we sometimes in life was being put in the same situation as Jesus did. We must make a decision that against our consciensce. In one side we must do something professionally, but in the other side our conscience scream for justification of our acts, our decisions and in certain spare time, we looked back and say "What have I done ?" "Did I do that ?" "Did I take that decision ?"How can we handled such situation then ? We must challenge our conscience and look further in each side, Is there anything we can do to solve this problem ? Will we fullfil our role if we take that decision ? Is there anyone who will loss something because our acts ? After we look ourselves with these question, make a decision and said to ourselves that we have take the best choice we have.

If I must stoned the adulterous woman I wish that I was the last who stoned her ... J

The Crucified King

In this Easter season I try to read something that I have think about all these years, relativity. I used to think that all things were relative. There is no absolute things and all value are range. After years passed by and I become wiser. I now think that there is something absolute in this mortal world, an ideal. An ideal will be an ideal if not being brought in a real life as a way of life, as a guidance, but sometime in real life, the ideal absolutism was corrupted by the one who embraced them because sometime the ideal itself would crush their follower.

Like the journey of the sun, there will be a sunrise and sunset for everything, that is a Law of Great Truth in Buddhism. All religion will vanquish from this world someday, and there will be immoral men and women on top of it, spreading blasphemy and wrong ideas about this world and eventually there will be someone that we call prophet again someday and found a new religion. There is endless cycle of it and human usually tried to preserved everything whatever it takes. They sometimes corrupt the ideal itself so it can be preserved in a text or religion's ritual or anything and eventually it lost its value someday, forgotten.

I learned in a Christian school for almost 20 years, so their teachings were carved deep in my heart as deep as my buddhist identity and somehow make me understand a value of an ideal. Jesus has an ideal that God save everybody that need, He didn't want to be a salvation for a tribe or two, but the world itself, furthermore he didn't come to liberate a tribe that didn't attempt to liberate themselves. In His era, Jesus dealt this kind problems. He did his work and eventually He was crucified and died by the one he wanted to save, the minority of society that searched a salvation and a king to liberate them that days because they knew that they will not liberated if they are not attempted to, they expected some miracles like in the old testament and they were disappointed by Jesus, so they rejected him and make him as a scapegoat of political issues that time.

Are you ready to shoulder the same cross as His cross and denied yourself ?

To settled the most urgent issues in your life and carry on your ideal what whatever it takes ?

BTW, Happy Easter Guys !!

 

The Impeccable Twins

Once upon a time in an ancient China, there was a story about a woman. She has a goddess like beauty and very skillful in a martial art. She had a martial art temple called palace of one thousand flowers. She lived in that place just like a princess with all of her female student. One day, there is dying scholar dumped by a thieves near the palace, somehow he survived and became the palace's special guest because he's the only male in that palace.

Time passed by and the master of the palace, princess Kiau Goat have fallen in love with the scholar and proposed him. He refused her proposal and planned to leave with one of her maid that took care of him while he wounded. The princess was very angry and kill both of them and learned that they have twin male babies. One of the babies was adopted and raised by her as a young martial artist. What Happened to the other ? His twin brother was escaped from a misery and had been taken care by top ten criminals in the dark valley, the hideout of all criminal in ancient China.

Well, If I was that scholar I will try to love the princess, however that's how the story goes I guess ... :)

Will Love Grow ?

I remembered an old story about my friend. She is a very special for me. At the first time we met at RSUPDK. We take a same young doctor education program, Forensic. When the first time we met I was mesmerized. She is a cute little girl with a beautiful smile. In a short word, we introduced ourselves and we exchange a facebook ID, and then everything running so fast, I've found myself have been fallen to her. Hours has been passed, days, every night I  got myself on a facebook or YM only to chat with her.

We talk about almost everything, but I knew she hid something from me. When the time passed by eventually I learned that her relationship was in a brink of destruction because her family didn't want her guy. I just guessed that I was the one who worsened her relationship because her family want me to substitute him. But eventually heaven was not blessing our relationship too. She was matchmaking with some other guy. When I want to confirm this matter, she only said that she want to think about it and eventually she take some government program and well, she is in ambon right now. We've never talked again, I missed her for some time but I guess that was the end, for us.

For the time being I was introduced by the owner of a clinic where I usually work to. She's a dentist and for the second in my life I was mesmerized again. I don't know what make me like that, but one thing that I know that I was in a situation like my old friend but I'm in the shoe of the last lucky guy. Sometime I asked this question to myself; "Will love grow in our heart ?" Only time will tell us for sure.

Busy Busy Busy

Well, I'm off from my writing yesterday because I have a marathon job shift. hiuft ... That’s crazy job shift and unbelievebly I accepted that kind of job shift. Hm .... Are we (doctors) are just the same with a garment labour ? I don’t know about that either, but one thing I know, when I get home I just throw myself on my bed. Ooohh .... I miss my bed .... Really.

One thing I realized next was I need to be in the top of the foodchain, I need to open a private practice, so I can work for myself and all my time is for myself ! Well, that’s all ... By the way, HAPPY EASTER !

The Legacy

Have we ever see our doctors daily life ? In their offices, they are very powerful and we have to obey every order that they give to us, even they can make us put off our pants and inject us ! They are humans too in their daily life, they born, they grow, become fragile and they eventually died. Did their knowledge, their spirit died with them ? -No- Where do they save all of that spirit, knowledge and skill ? In medical school ? -Half true- They keep all that treasure in their legacy, their pupil.

Like in Ip Man 2 movie, we eventually need a successor for everything we have. Our money, skill, knowledge, attitude and the most important of all their way of life. In Ip Man 2 there is a special scene that suitable to this idea. When Ip Man talk with his pupil about why did he didn't want to show his skill and trample all martial arts schools is that when he grow old, let say 10 years later, in that time, there is a lot of new skilled martial arts master that  has ripen their skill, in that time he will be beaten very easily, because his strength and speed was not as great as them, even he has more skill and knowledge about martial arts.

In order to solve that problem everyone have their own legitimate successor. We will eventually married and have kids, they will eventually become our successor, our clan name, our house, our knowledge, our way of life, everything that we possessed now. Doctors have some masters that will inherited their skill and knowledge to their pupil. But, not all of his pupil inherited their spirit and their way of life, the most important treasure, the core of their personality and life.

Are you ready to inherit something ?

 

The Code of Virtue

In our daily life, we often get ourselves in a situation that when we do something we will feel bad for it but eventually we did it. We feel guilty and ashamed for everything we do that time but alas, nothing we can do for now. It recall some very good advice from "The Last Samurai" movies. It tell us about some kind situation that similar to his one. The story roll out in around of Nathan Algren, an American military tactician that help Meiji government rule out some resistance from some old Shogun families. He feel ashamed of his deed in his last war because he betrayed his enemies and for that reason he often having a nightmares about it.

In the first time, he feel the meaning of becoming a true warrior, a Samurai. He learns the virtue of becoming one and he found the answer and the cure for is nightmares, a reason to fight and atonement for his betrayal. Is he become a hypocrite ? In a real life there is always a two side in a one piece, like a coin. When we become a hero in one side, we will not always become a hero too for the other side. Then how do we know that we are on the right track ?

Well, this is quite troublesome question, because there will be a lot of answers for this question. The answer is we need a code to embrace in our life, a code of virtue that we will always considered when we do something. The next question is "what kind code we should have?" The answer is quite simple too, any code will do fine as long as we concern with the risks of our choices, like Nathan Algren in the movies, he found all answers he always asked to himself as a warrior, a reason to fight and finally he found a suitable code of virtue for himself, as a Samurai.

The Zealotry and The Good

When you read the Holy Bible, there is a chapter about Jesus crucifixion and Simon the Zealots or some kind like that. He refused to help Him to shoulder His cross, furthermore he said that he is innocent. We often doing this kind of act, sometime we often give this kind of reason to have a responsibility of our action. Is his action is bad ? -NO- but unpleasant -YES-. Some of us refused to help Him with this kind of reason, "I'm innocent", "I don't know", for our own safety even in the name of justice or any other higher cause for our own safety, or our own loved one's safety.

When the good act met the a duty there are 4 possibility that will happens, first It will be a greater good because they wanted our help and we fulfill our roles, second it will be zealotry acts, third it will be a waste because we regret it, fourth we will feel sorry for our acts because they refused our goodwill or our good acts. Then how do we know that our act is good or zealotry one ? well, there is a few tips we can do to examine our deeds :

1. Do we step on thee others rights ? -We need to fulfill our role and duty first then we help another-
2. How do we feel after we do it ? -Fishy ? or something is not right ? then you need to see #1 point-
3. Do they want our good act or good will ? -If not, then we need to refer to #1 point too-

Well, that's for today !

The Dream

Most of us have dreamed a very peacefull place, full with anything with all things we like at least once. Actually that kind dream is a normal dream because sometimes in life, we can not fullfill all of our desire, so in our very private space, our mind, we do something about it. But, what will happen when we woke up ? Well, we all know, all of that dream will eventually vanish, all things that left is somehow a complex feeling that we still have something to do.

Then, should we stop dreaming ?  No. We should never stop dreaming, because dream brings hope to the real life, offered a conclusion of our daily problem sometimes. But dreams will always become a dreams and they may not be brought into real life because if it being brought into real life, it will be a chaos. In a real life someone's right are limited by others so, let your dream in its cage and let you and  your solution for the real life.

What is your dream ?

The Chess Piece

This morning, I've finished an intense chat with a friend, she is good woman for a general, a good employee and I can't blame her for what happens. We talked about a half an hour a very intense chat and I got "what the hell ?" impression from her.I think the main problem was her role. In a chess she is a rook, her job made her that way. She must defend what her master whatever happen. My role ? I'm a knight, I need a special requirement before I can be used to slap someone's face. In a chess pieces grade I was higher, but in she have some requirement I need to obtain before I do my job.

Well, what is your role ?

A Reason to Fight

Sometime in my life I've stopped and think back all things I've done. I wondered what kind reason I used to have these past years to fight in life but there was always a reason to fight back, change things and finally we reach a resolution. We sometimes define something in a hard way. like motivation and always search things outside, but the true reason to fight is from inside, and different for each people, desire in our common language. The noblest desire you ever wished for or the most disgraceful one has an equal role in this world and make changes. The most important thing is the goal and the way we obtained it. Is it through a good way ?

Then, what is your desire ?

Relativity

I remembered my last conversation with some friend about American Superstar. Well, we all know some of them died in an "overdose accidents". I don't know about the truth, so never ask me about it. He said that the died superstars were a fool because the already has everything, anything they wanted to have, they could buy it. They only need to request it. I was shocking hearing about that too, but I think there is a lot of consideration to said that they were fool because sometime, a treasure for some people are trash for the other.

This kind of thought is inspired by anime, and it make me wiser, because we can think about a superstar, they have everything, money, popularity, but they couldn't rest, they have sacrificed personal life. In my humble opinion, they are humans too. They need private moment, for their families, basic needs and of course their leisure time, a time to relax, no fans, no wife, no husband, no papparazis, nothing ! In the meanwhile thinking about how we can't paid our bills and we can't buy anything we wish for, or we can't buy our college loan. We sometime have to gratitude we still be able to enjoy our private moments.

So, What kind of treasure did you seek ?

The Most Precious Item

"What is the most precious item do you want to have ?" My friend this morning asked me this kind question. A simple question but hard to answer. Well, I think for a moment and asked her question; "Well, the most precious item in the world I want to have is time." She laugh at me and said that my answer is a rare answers. "Well, what kind of answer did you wanted me to say ?" I asked her again. She just turn her back and walk away.

In most of our life, we trade or time for something, for example, In our younger time, we went to school every day, we did our homework, we did some extra job to get an extra money. What do we get from the trade then ? What kind man we became now was a long and complicated network of choice, a fate in a tongue of most people. Is our trade worth ? Now we can think it all over again, but wait, all of that decision is a correct decision back then, because we will never know what will happen next when we get the another choice. And the most important of all think of it's worth makes your priceless time slip like a sand.

So, wake up !

Strongest Man in The World

When I come home from my office today, I feel ashamed in myself. I used to think that the strongest man in the world is a man with a muscular body, can lift tons of weight and something like that. But now I realize that the strongest man in the world is a man who has something to protect. I feel it now, my father is sick and my mother is a facebook junkies. Well, for the time being I must protect myself for now, so I have to make some money and spare it for my college later.

Now I realize that the strength measurement is not only physical measurement, but determination and a willingness to make an effort. Now, I know what's my father's feeling when he was coming home years ago, now I know what's my father's feeling when he was going to get some nap years ago, and now I know what kind of luxuries I have received all of these years. For some reason I wanted to pay him back, but could I do it now ?

What do you think ?

The Soap Opera

"Some people experience an easy love right ?" This question lingering in my ears this morning. I know it sound strange, but hey, have you ever saw a soap opera ? Well, we often see such a situation of relationship in that kind show, describing an overwhelming love, a love that can take care everything, or maybe it's described a desperate love. In a real live, everyone has a similar story to that story, but there is no dramatic soundtrack or the slowmotion when there is some dramatic scene.

Each people experience a unique love story, each of them has it's own climacs and dramaticall scene, so there is a lot of inspirational story, a lot of unique love story out there ...

What about yours ?

The village

Today, I have a small trip to a village named baan, It's nice village in a Tuntang, Central Java. It's a good air and good scenery. It's a small village near Rawa Pening Lake, and I don't have any chance to get there because I have a task today, so I go to the village and a small artificial lake named embung that made by Pertamina, an Indonesian oil company as it's CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) program.

Here is some snapshot :

Trapped

When I worked in a clinic yesterday, I've found myself in a tricky situation. It's not something that would endanger my life or something like that, but what I was trying to say that someone was applying a slight variation of strategy like in "The Romance of Three Kingdom". It's the same strategy when Liu Bei would be killed in Wu capital when he proposed Sun Shan Xiang, a Wu princess. As their strategist, Zhu Ge Liang proposed some strategy.

He told a goup of armless guards with a complete armor set plus a red bouquet in their chest just like a groom in that time to shop a preparation for the married proposal in the Wu's capital. When they were asked by the merchant in there about "Who will get married ?" They must replied with "Did you know that our master, Lord Liu Bei will  be married to your princess, Sun Shan Xiang ?" And as the result of that strategy, rumors spread fast, and finally the Wu's queen mother heard about the news. Finally Liu Bei was saved and his married his was celebrated.

Will I be okay ? :D

Life is a RPG

When I remembered my high school age, I've found myself very attached to RPG kind game rather than any other genre. Maybe in that time I was searching something missing in my live, a lost piece of puzzle and maybe I want to be like the hero in those games. I've thought that they are so lucky, they have such a wonderful journey in their life, can hold some magical items and get a lover in their journey. Well, I was not as lucky as my friend, or maybe that I'm the one pull myself back from society that time.

When I think all of those memories, I've found myself that life itself is a massive scale RPG. The correct moment, The correct person and The correct situation eventually can create some event, but the wrong one can lead to a bad ending. The major difference is that we can push the reset button whenever something wrong happens, but in real life, we don't have that reset button. So, we have to make a good choice to trigger some good events in our life and after that there is no turning back. So, what we have to do ? Don't worry too much about it as long as you realized the impact of your choice and you can accept it, you'll eventually will trigger a good things even for sometime all things get worsened at the first time. 

So, have you decided something today ?

The Woman of Faith

In some event, sometimes I was asked by my married friend : "When will you catch up ?" "Well, not very soon enough I guess" I replied, and then the next question is "What kind woman will you choose later ?" All of the question up there is harder than any exams I've pass through. Really ! I've never thought about it seriously, until one evening, I was introduced to a girl by her mother. She looks nice in her T-Shirt and white medical blazer and for some reason, I was mesmerized. I stunned for a few second and blushing maybe. I didn't know what's got into me, but for some reason my heart was pounding. Now, for some reason I've searching a reason to get her close to me.

I was wondering, will she be my woman of faith, someone who'll stay by my side even in my darkest hour ? Will she take good care of me when I sick ? Will I still like her when she get older ? Will I keep my faith until her last moment ? Well, all of this questions are haunted me. But one thing I can tell myself that she is a good girl even for some reason she was disliked by some of my friend. Well, time will tell us the next episode of this chapter of love. :)

Under One Sky

Nowadays, Indonesian government want to escalate their fossil fuel prices. This sensitive issue has driven their people panic more and all kind of movement was taken by its young lings. All they know that they are the voices of the silenced people, the one that couldn't said anything. But did they realized that all things they have done is making everything worse ? Drive people to think that they are in some certain bad condition and finally make them to do violence acts. And that is a hellish cycle of chaos, it has no end of them.

I was remembered an old movie, The hero, starred by Jet Lee. It told us that there is some unseen motives in the iron handed government. Some people may loose their lives, but the country itself has a good stability at least and can build the entire nation. I'm not talking killing certain people to get a peaceful result, No ! But the movies conclusion that been said by the movie itself, whoever rule the country, as long as their people a good shape, and they are happy, It's not a big deal. That is the meaning of the movie saying "Under One Sky".

But how if, the people not in a good shape and suffer ? What should we do ? Well the famous poet, Lun Yu said that all the good minister can do is do their job like they usually did and not to abandon their job in their daily duty. All of this saying want to tell us that one good minister that stand firm in a chaotic moment will bring a significant change event a little and eventually another good minister appear. So, what are we going to do ? Well, all we can do is sit back and enjoy this live show while we tried to solve all problem around us, something we can do for our closest environment.

The Future

When I accompany my mom to her dentist this afternoon, It shiver my spine because I imagine what my future looks like, what my wife face looks like 10 or 20 years later. Will she be a good mother ? Will I be able become a good father ? Will I be reach or able to enjoy the life like I have now ? Will my children be a good one ?

All this question have haunted me for so long but, It shaken me worst nowadays, when I close enough with some girls. Not the girls I desired to, but the one that I've been introduced by her mother, but despite of all things, she's a good looking if my eyes not tricking me, and more of that she is a good girl.This doubt has been worsened by my attitude, who will guide me through all of this mess we called life ? A lot of question hanging in my head right now.

How about you guys ?

Risk of the Job

Some people say that become a doctor is a great career, some say being lawyer is much better, some say being a multilevel marketing agent is much much better, but when we see all that kind proposal have it's own risk and it's own benefit. The most considerable things now is our style. When we know our style, we good in the job, then it's more than a job, it's a blessing, and all we can say next is "This is my style ..." :)

The Pandora Box

Last night, I have a little chat with my Facebook friend. He has a problem with a girl he crush on. The problem is he curious about her past relationship, what kind relationship she had with another man, was she still virgin, etc. In his country, the men still have a high hopes that their wife are still virgin until the first night. And for some reason he fell uncomfortable about this. Well, I said to him "Is it really matter to know all that ?" He said "Actually no, but I feel curious about her past." I stopped and said "Let me ask you one thing first, What will you do after you know about it ?" "well, practically I can't do nothing." He replied me. "Precisely, you only sowing a seed of a quarreling in a future, If you really married her someday."

He said, "How could that be ?" He replied me again. "Well, basically you know something that according your tradition a taboo, right ?"; "It means, It's a secret that she must shut from a stranger, so what do you think will happen if you married her and you know about it ?"; "You will make it as an excuse to bent her will, when you loose your grasp in your quarrels." "Well, I'm not like that you know, you know me right ?" "Well, basically, we are just the same, men want a domination, so, we will achieve it even using that kind way"; I continued "When you loose your cool you'll eventually spit it out even in the slightest part and It's very unpleasant to hear you know" I didn't get his respond after that, maybe he has a deep thought about it.

Few minutes later he asked me "What should I do then ?" "Well, You still want to know right ?"; "It's your right to know all about your couple when the time is correct, but for now, I think that kind of knowledge is like a pandora box." I continued "It's very tempting to open it but once you open it, what you unleash is your own ugly side." "How come ?" "Well, I have my own experience you know, but little different from yours." I replied. "Oh, okay, I can accept that for now." Well, that's the end of our little chat. The most important thing to think about for now is, each of us have our own pandora boxes, our dirty little secrets that eventually we'll entrusted it into someone we trust someday of course. Someone we love for example, but will they be able to open and accept it ? I don't have that answer for now. But we must remembered the last thing that buried down deep inside a pandora box, -Yes, a hope-

How about you ?

Temptation

Yesterday, I've found myself in a dilemma. I've accepted some job that make me do unnecessary laboratory test eventually, because I didn't get any money if I didn't do it. Are we -doctors- really that poor ? Such question wavering in my head. But when I looked back in myself, I wanted to become a doctor because I admired my father's doctor, He's so kind and not doing a foul things like I want to commit. So, I've made my mind, I will do useful tests for my patients only. But, I remembered that some patient didn't want to check in a laboratory, even they have to do it for their own sake. They have so many reasons, and the most common reason is money. Well, I think it's their right to said "no" because they have a right to do so.

Well, maybe the right question is "What have been happened in this world ?"

Never Say I don't Care

When I saw some scene in Kamen Rider Fourze, I eventually remembered my younger brother and my grandmother. It's a scene when Kamen Rider Meteor said that He don't care anymore to his friend. The day she died, he eventually cry and ask for apology to her. When I asked him why, He said "I've done so many mean things to her, and I can't afford to say I'm sorry." After I learn the situation, I learned that my younger brother a week before my grandmother died had a feud with her. He said he don't care about here and wish that she could die anyway. The next movie scene is that the Kamen Rider Metor feel sorry for what he said and searched a cure for his friend. Much less the same.

So, Never say I don't Care because You'll sorry for it eventually !

Money

"When someone life's ended, there is no way to claim it back." Most of them have this kind of thought so, they who have the ability to prolonged it, or cure the sickness that haunted them were considered god. Nowadays, that kind knowledge and skills were passed through in medical school. But as we can see now, medical doctors are humans, not a god, so they possessed all kind of human's weakness. They need rest, eat, refresh their skill and knowledge, certification, keep themselves healthy, and all of that need money. Not all medical doctors are rich some can be considered poor, but no one guarantee them when they got sick or one of their kin in a serious illness and need a financial support.

Who will guarantee our financial things ? Government ? No ... We are the one who will guarantee it !

The Holly and the unholly

By oneself evil is done, by oneself one is also stained. 
By oneself evil is not done, by oneself one becomes a saint anyway. 
Holy or unholy depending on himself; no one can purify another person
(Dhammapada XII, 9)

Some of us believe that a sin can be eradicated by doing certain ritual or certain thing or maybe believe some doctrine. But in the real world there is no such thing. We will eventually pay our sin, cash in exact amount. "How this thing can be happen then ?" some of us ask this to me. The answer is simple because we bound to "Law of Kamma". So, based in this concept we only inherit our own kamma so, no one can give a holly tittle or lift our bad kamma.

This concept is the hardest concept to be accepted, because our human nature always searching a scape goat for our misfortunes. Some of us still think that there is a superior being that will give us misfortune if we not doing as He want. I don't say there is not, but He didn't give us the misfortune, we are the one that make it. Then, how about misfortune that happen even we have done all good things, some of us said that He gave us a trial, to see our faith. That kind of god is so cruel. We, Buddhists said that our bad kamma reached it's maturation.

"So, we can not ask for help ?" according to the text, we can't, but there is a lot of superior beings than us, human that will help us because they have a vow, one of Their vow is "I will not reach nibbana until hell is empty". This vow was said by Ksitigarbha boddhisatva and there is more of Them. All of their names were listed in a Maha Karuna Dharani. The most famous of them is Avalokitesvara Boddhisatva. She appeared in many form, but the most well known form is in a lady form that wear a white robe and carry a bottle and she sit on a Lotus.

So what do you believe ?

The forgotten seasoning

Do you know what is the most important seasoning in the world ? Salt ? No; Love ? No; Then what ?

Let me tell you something, Yesterday, I was sick, sneezing, coughing, my mouth feel bitter. It's awful. I don't feel like to eat anything ! I just want to sleep that time. Then my father told me this : "What is the most important seasoning ?" I said "I don't know !" My Father said "It's health, so go and get some." I didn't get it that time but, when I thought about it, It's make sense. When you sick, all good food out there taste awful, but when you in a good shape, anything look tasty (even some are not as tasty as their look). :)

The Substitution

"When you loose something, you'll eventally get something."

That is one of my favorite sayings from my movies collection, "Kamen Rider Movie : The First". I've watched this movie around 4 times since I have it in 2006. The more I saw it, the more I like it. The story was quite linear, kamen rider typical, a young scientist was kidnapped by "Shocker" and turned into a "Kaijin" (inhumanoid) with some method, maybe surgeries. But eventually is brainwashed brain is return to normal after seeing snowflakes. And after a few scene, he got his motorcycle from Tachibana and he was encouraged by him to use his new power to defeat "Shocker" (insight) with the saying from this article's epilogue.

That saying is quite true, in real life when you get something, for example, a spouse, then you will loose your freedom to tease another girl/boy. Or if you loose your time to grooming your cat, you can play with him/her. So everything have a counterbalance, right - responsibility, dark - light, good - evil, etc. Back to the movie, the movie is a good combination of action and romance, and i never saw the original series, so I can't compare them.

So, have you loose something ?

The Vendetta

When I saw the movie last night, The Kingdom, I was wondering, "How could this thing happened ?" The story is revolved around The USA and Saudi Arabian. Someday there is a bombing in Saudi, a big blast and there is some FBI agents caught in it. Before the FBI agent was caught in it, he call his friend in DC and his friend calmed his friend's wives with a whisper "Don't worry we will kill them all." And somehow, he and his team can enter Saudi, and eventually they got their revenge. In his last moment, the terrorist leader, whisper something to his grandson in Arabian, "don't be afraid my son, we will kill them all." This kind ending is very american, Well, at least there will be another sequel of this movie.

I was wondering the beginning of this vendetta, The WTC tragedy ? Or maybe far before that. There is a prophecy that there is no peace in the middle east until the end of time. Will that prophecy come true ? A lot of this question bugging me, and make me write this article. The movie itself is a military stereotype, a skillful team was charged in the enemy's base and eventually back to USA alive. The music is average and the action is too fast and blood spill here and there. So overall score is 6, but the content is very unpleasant. 

Well, what do you think ?

Guarantee

Some of us relieved that our country guarantee our health. But when we see closer, there is no guarantee at all. In my country the poor get a health guarantee from our government. I said guarantee not insurance, because, the poor didn't pay anything, and they get healthcare service for free even if they must stay in hospital, all of their bill was paid by the government. But what happen next is beyond our imagination. The health care service is inhuman, unpleasant room, unpleasant nurse, unpleasant doctor and even the worst of it, they have to pay more if they add some uncovered medication.

Some of us maybe ask this question : "How could this thing happened ?" Well, a lot of answer occurred because we have no clue where this problem started. But one for sure is wide spread corruption in this country. The government couldn't handle it because a lot of important people that sit in this country involved in it. Plus all kind corruption occurred from germ scale until very large scale happened. Then, some of us ask this question : "What is the proof ?" The answer is easy, while some of the poor get a half-heart guarantee, some from the middle class society, or maybe some of the rich got it too. This things happened because there is no one guarantee the middle class, but for the rich one, I don't know what's in their mind.

Someone Else's Land

What is the measurement for a success ? Money ? Power ? Luxury ? Most people will choose money, because at least everyone can get sick, but if you have no money than you can't treat your illness. Like we all know that Indonesia is a very fertile country, most of it's citizen is a farmer. Ironically almost all Indonesian farmers are poor. This kind situation happened because they didn't have their own land, they did someone else's land. So farmer can't enjoy their own crops and only become a cheap labor. But that is not the only problem, they also deal some other problems, the government itself. The government issue some regulation that make their living become very harsh, from wrong policies about fertilizer and the seedling, until imported crops from fruit until rice, all of of them are imported from outside, and make their live upside down even worse now.

It's almost the same with the medical doctor life in Indonesia. They did someone else clinic or hospital because it give them more money, and they will have no more time to do a private practice. When they have reached certain point in their life, it will be too late for them to do it. The other problem is just the same with the farmer, -Yes- The regulation itself. Most of the regulation are troublesome and even castrate their rights. The government didn't see the bigger picture and only focused in a medical doctor only. The worse enemy than the government is the media. The media sometimes pick more dramatically story, some story they can sell, but they didn't portrait the reality itself, most of their report about health care in the rural areas are lies. They praise the midwifes and nurse that practice in the rural area in middle of nowhere, but not the medical doctor that do the same as they did. And the worst of all is they blow up a health care problems as big as they can. That's unfair you know ! 

With all of this problem will we survive ?

Only time will tell us ...

Please don't Break My Heart Again

In my searching of a good ISP I've found a lot of disappointment. They usually add "unlimited" word to their product, but in fact we only get unlimited waiting time. Some of them is kind enough to have their customer a broken heart because after certain amount of usage, the speed was dropped not just a quarter or one third but almost three quarter. It's much different from their commercial. So, I guess "unlimited" become a luxury in my country not only for that reason, but also a good amount of money to be paid for a good ISP service. 

I've tried to use some ISP, I'm sorry I can't tell you their names and all of them actually have a upside and downside, but most of them broke my heart and my wallet too. So, in a final word i'ld like to say Please delete the ''unlimited" part of your service, because it broke my heart. :)

The Darkest Hour

When we see movies, sometimes we are faced by a scene that there is no solution for a problem, a dead end. The movies usually talk about drastic change, and the result are good, instant. Somehow I wondering if that kind miracle an be happen in the real life, sometimes it's too good to be true. We can say all that kind of pessimistic comment we have, but sometimes miracles did happen.

For some reason I remembered my co - assistant time, some of them engrave good memories but some of them were the bad ones. For us, a medical doctor, our darkest hours happened when our patient refused our treatment and they were getting worst even sometime they blame us for their condition, the medical fees. But the darkest hour happened when we faced the sad faces and grieves of their loved ones and told them that we already have done everything.

In a different side, some of us, medical doctor forget these moments and take the safest way, make money more to paid our debt, our college loan, feed our wife and son. Maybe, I was a hypocrite, because now,I've chosen the same way as they were. But there is no turning back because I have my own goals. I dreamed that medical doctors were gained respectful place in society once more, because it's been too long that our job were tarnished and stained. I dreamed that someday all medical doctors became prosperous from their practices only. Maybe all of that just a dream, but I'm sure someday, just someday all of that dreams comes true.