The Chess Piece

This morning, I've finished an intense chat with a friend, she is good woman for a general, a good employee and I can't blame her for what happens. We talked about a half an hour a very intense chat and I got "what the hell ?" impression from her.I think the main problem was her role. In a chess she is a rook, her job made her that way. She must defend what her master whatever happen. My role ? I'm a knight, I need a special requirement before I can be used to slap someone's face. In a chess pieces grade I was higher, but in she have some requirement I need to obtain before I do my job.

Well, what is your role ?

A Reason to Fight

Sometime in my life I've stopped and think back all things I've done. I wondered what kind reason I used to have these past years to fight in life but there was always a reason to fight back, change things and finally we reach a resolution. We sometimes define something in a hard way. like motivation and always search things outside, but the true reason to fight is from inside, and different for each people, desire in our common language. The noblest desire you ever wished for or the most disgraceful one has an equal role in this world and make changes. The most important thing is the goal and the way we obtained it. Is it through a good way ?

Then, what is your desire ?

Relativity

I remembered my last conversation with some friend about American Superstar. Well, we all know some of them died in an "overdose accidents". I don't know about the truth, so never ask me about it. He said that the died superstars were a fool because the already has everything, anything they wanted to have, they could buy it. They only need to request it. I was shocking hearing about that too, but I think there is a lot of consideration to said that they were fool because sometime, a treasure for some people are trash for the other.

This kind of thought is inspired by anime, and it make me wiser, because we can think about a superstar, they have everything, money, popularity, but they couldn't rest, they have sacrificed personal life. In my humble opinion, they are humans too. They need private moment, for their families, basic needs and of course their leisure time, a time to relax, no fans, no wife, no husband, no papparazis, nothing ! In the meanwhile thinking about how we can't paid our bills and we can't buy anything we wish for, or we can't buy our college loan. We sometime have to gratitude we still be able to enjoy our private moments.

So, What kind of treasure did you seek ?

The Most Precious Item

"What is the most precious item do you want to have ?" My friend this morning asked me this kind question. A simple question but hard to answer. Well, I think for a moment and asked her question; "Well, the most precious item in the world I want to have is time." She laugh at me and said that my answer is a rare answers. "Well, what kind of answer did you wanted me to say ?" I asked her again. She just turn her back and walk away.

In most of our life, we trade or time for something, for example, In our younger time, we went to school every day, we did our homework, we did some extra job to get an extra money. What do we get from the trade then ? What kind man we became now was a long and complicated network of choice, a fate in a tongue of most people. Is our trade worth ? Now we can think it all over again, but wait, all of that decision is a correct decision back then, because we will never know what will happen next when we get the another choice. And the most important of all think of it's worth makes your priceless time slip like a sand.

So, wake up !

Strongest Man in The World

When I come home from my office today, I feel ashamed in myself. I used to think that the strongest man in the world is a man with a muscular body, can lift tons of weight and something like that. But now I realize that the strongest man in the world is a man who has something to protect. I feel it now, my father is sick and my mother is a facebook junkies. Well, for the time being I must protect myself for now, so I have to make some money and spare it for my college later.

Now I realize that the strength measurement is not only physical measurement, but determination and a willingness to make an effort. Now, I know what's my father's feeling when he was coming home years ago, now I know what's my father's feeling when he was going to get some nap years ago, and now I know what kind of luxuries I have received all of these years. For some reason I wanted to pay him back, but could I do it now ?

What do you think ?

The Soap Opera

"Some people experience an easy love right ?" This question lingering in my ears this morning. I know it sound strange, but hey, have you ever saw a soap opera ? Well, we often see such a situation of relationship in that kind show, describing an overwhelming love, a love that can take care everything, or maybe it's described a desperate love. In a real live, everyone has a similar story to that story, but there is no dramatic soundtrack or the slowmotion when there is some dramatic scene.

Each people experience a unique love story, each of them has it's own climacs and dramaticall scene, so there is a lot of inspirational story, a lot of unique love story out there ...

What about yours ?

The village

Today, I have a small trip to a village named baan, It's nice village in a Tuntang, Central Java. It's a good air and good scenery. It's a small village near Rawa Pening Lake, and I don't have any chance to get there because I have a task today, so I go to the village and a small artificial lake named embung that made by Pertamina, an Indonesian oil company as it's CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) program.

Here is some snapshot :

Trapped

When I worked in a clinic yesterday, I've found myself in a tricky situation. It's not something that would endanger my life or something like that, but what I was trying to say that someone was applying a slight variation of strategy like in "The Romance of Three Kingdom". It's the same strategy when Liu Bei would be killed in Wu capital when he proposed Sun Shan Xiang, a Wu princess. As their strategist, Zhu Ge Liang proposed some strategy.

He told a goup of armless guards with a complete armor set plus a red bouquet in their chest just like a groom in that time to shop a preparation for the married proposal in the Wu's capital. When they were asked by the merchant in there about "Who will get married ?" They must replied with "Did you know that our master, Lord Liu Bei will  be married to your princess, Sun Shan Xiang ?" And as the result of that strategy, rumors spread fast, and finally the Wu's queen mother heard about the news. Finally Liu Bei was saved and his married his was celebrated.

Will I be okay ? :D

Life is a RPG

When I remembered my high school age, I've found myself very attached to RPG kind game rather than any other genre. Maybe in that time I was searching something missing in my live, a lost piece of puzzle and maybe I want to be like the hero in those games. I've thought that they are so lucky, they have such a wonderful journey in their life, can hold some magical items and get a lover in their journey. Well, I was not as lucky as my friend, or maybe that I'm the one pull myself back from society that time.

When I think all of those memories, I've found myself that life itself is a massive scale RPG. The correct moment, The correct person and The correct situation eventually can create some event, but the wrong one can lead to a bad ending. The major difference is that we can push the reset button whenever something wrong happens, but in real life, we don't have that reset button. So, we have to make a good choice to trigger some good events in our life and after that there is no turning back. So, what we have to do ? Don't worry too much about it as long as you realized the impact of your choice and you can accept it, you'll eventually will trigger a good things even for sometime all things get worsened at the first time. 

So, have you decided something today ?

The Woman of Faith

In some event, sometimes I was asked by my married friend : "When will you catch up ?" "Well, not very soon enough I guess" I replied, and then the next question is "What kind woman will you choose later ?" All of the question up there is harder than any exams I've pass through. Really ! I've never thought about it seriously, until one evening, I was introduced to a girl by her mother. She looks nice in her T-Shirt and white medical blazer and for some reason, I was mesmerized. I stunned for a few second and blushing maybe. I didn't know what's got into me, but for some reason my heart was pounding. Now, for some reason I've searching a reason to get her close to me.

I was wondering, will she be my woman of faith, someone who'll stay by my side even in my darkest hour ? Will she take good care of me when I sick ? Will I still like her when she get older ? Will I keep my faith until her last moment ? Well, all of this questions are haunted me. But one thing I can tell myself that she is a good girl even for some reason she was disliked by some of my friend. Well, time will tell us the next episode of this chapter of love. :)

Under One Sky

Nowadays, Indonesian government want to escalate their fossil fuel prices. This sensitive issue has driven their people panic more and all kind of movement was taken by its young lings. All they know that they are the voices of the silenced people, the one that couldn't said anything. But did they realized that all things they have done is making everything worse ? Drive people to think that they are in some certain bad condition and finally make them to do violence acts. And that is a hellish cycle of chaos, it has no end of them.

I was remembered an old movie, The hero, starred by Jet Lee. It told us that there is some unseen motives in the iron handed government. Some people may loose their lives, but the country itself has a good stability at least and can build the entire nation. I'm not talking killing certain people to get a peaceful result, No ! But the movies conclusion that been said by the movie itself, whoever rule the country, as long as their people a good shape, and they are happy, It's not a big deal. That is the meaning of the movie saying "Under One Sky".

But how if, the people not in a good shape and suffer ? What should we do ? Well the famous poet, Lun Yu said that all the good minister can do is do their job like they usually did and not to abandon their job in their daily duty. All of this saying want to tell us that one good minister that stand firm in a chaotic moment will bring a significant change event a little and eventually another good minister appear. So, what are we going to do ? Well, all we can do is sit back and enjoy this live show while we tried to solve all problem around us, something we can do for our closest environment.

The Future

When I accompany my mom to her dentist this afternoon, It shiver my spine because I imagine what my future looks like, what my wife face looks like 10 or 20 years later. Will she be a good mother ? Will I be able become a good father ? Will I be reach or able to enjoy the life like I have now ? Will my children be a good one ?

All this question have haunted me for so long but, It shaken me worst nowadays, when I close enough with some girls. Not the girls I desired to, but the one that I've been introduced by her mother, but despite of all things, she's a good looking if my eyes not tricking me, and more of that she is a good girl.This doubt has been worsened by my attitude, who will guide me through all of this mess we called life ? A lot of question hanging in my head right now.

How about you guys ?

Risk of the Job

Some people say that become a doctor is a great career, some say being lawyer is much better, some say being a multilevel marketing agent is much much better, but when we see all that kind proposal have it's own risk and it's own benefit. The most considerable things now is our style. When we know our style, we good in the job, then it's more than a job, it's a blessing, and all we can say next is "This is my style ..." :)

The Pandora Box

Last night, I have a little chat with my Facebook friend. He has a problem with a girl he crush on. The problem is he curious about her past relationship, what kind relationship she had with another man, was she still virgin, etc. In his country, the men still have a high hopes that their wife are still virgin until the first night. And for some reason he fell uncomfortable about this. Well, I said to him "Is it really matter to know all that ?" He said "Actually no, but I feel curious about her past." I stopped and said "Let me ask you one thing first, What will you do after you know about it ?" "well, practically I can't do nothing." He replied me. "Precisely, you only sowing a seed of a quarreling in a future, If you really married her someday."

He said, "How could that be ?" He replied me again. "Well, basically you know something that according your tradition a taboo, right ?"; "It means, It's a secret that she must shut from a stranger, so what do you think will happen if you married her and you know about it ?"; "You will make it as an excuse to bent her will, when you loose your grasp in your quarrels." "Well, I'm not like that you know, you know me right ?" "Well, basically, we are just the same, men want a domination, so, we will achieve it even using that kind way"; I continued "When you loose your cool you'll eventually spit it out even in the slightest part and It's very unpleasant to hear you know" I didn't get his respond after that, maybe he has a deep thought about it.

Few minutes later he asked me "What should I do then ?" "Well, You still want to know right ?"; "It's your right to know all about your couple when the time is correct, but for now, I think that kind of knowledge is like a pandora box." I continued "It's very tempting to open it but once you open it, what you unleash is your own ugly side." "How come ?" "Well, I have my own experience you know, but little different from yours." I replied. "Oh, okay, I can accept that for now." Well, that's the end of our little chat. The most important thing to think about for now is, each of us have our own pandora boxes, our dirty little secrets that eventually we'll entrusted it into someone we trust someday of course. Someone we love for example, but will they be able to open and accept it ? I don't have that answer for now. But we must remembered the last thing that buried down deep inside a pandora box, -Yes, a hope-

How about you ?

Temptation

Yesterday, I've found myself in a dilemma. I've accepted some job that make me do unnecessary laboratory test eventually, because I didn't get any money if I didn't do it. Are we -doctors- really that poor ? Such question wavering in my head. But when I looked back in myself, I wanted to become a doctor because I admired my father's doctor, He's so kind and not doing a foul things like I want to commit. So, I've made my mind, I will do useful tests for my patients only. But, I remembered that some patient didn't want to check in a laboratory, even they have to do it for their own sake. They have so many reasons, and the most common reason is money. Well, I think it's their right to said "no" because they have a right to do so.

Well, maybe the right question is "What have been happened in this world ?"

Never Say I don't Care

When I saw some scene in Kamen Rider Fourze, I eventually remembered my younger brother and my grandmother. It's a scene when Kamen Rider Meteor said that He don't care anymore to his friend. The day she died, he eventually cry and ask for apology to her. When I asked him why, He said "I've done so many mean things to her, and I can't afford to say I'm sorry." After I learn the situation, I learned that my younger brother a week before my grandmother died had a feud with her. He said he don't care about here and wish that she could die anyway. The next movie scene is that the Kamen Rider Metor feel sorry for what he said and searched a cure for his friend. Much less the same.

So, Never say I don't Care because You'll sorry for it eventually !

Money

"When someone life's ended, there is no way to claim it back." Most of them have this kind of thought so, they who have the ability to prolonged it, or cure the sickness that haunted them were considered god. Nowadays, that kind knowledge and skills were passed through in medical school. But as we can see now, medical doctors are humans, not a god, so they possessed all kind of human's weakness. They need rest, eat, refresh their skill and knowledge, certification, keep themselves healthy, and all of that need money. Not all medical doctors are rich some can be considered poor, but no one guarantee them when they got sick or one of their kin in a serious illness and need a financial support.

Who will guarantee our financial things ? Government ? No ... We are the one who will guarantee it !

The Holly and the unholly

By oneself evil is done, by oneself one is also stained. 
By oneself evil is not done, by oneself one becomes a saint anyway. 
Holy or unholy depending on himself; no one can purify another person
(Dhammapada XII, 9)

Some of us believe that a sin can be eradicated by doing certain ritual or certain thing or maybe believe some doctrine. But in the real world there is no such thing. We will eventually pay our sin, cash in exact amount. "How this thing can be happen then ?" some of us ask this to me. The answer is simple because we bound to "Law of Kamma". So, based in this concept we only inherit our own kamma so, no one can give a holly tittle or lift our bad kamma.

This concept is the hardest concept to be accepted, because our human nature always searching a scape goat for our misfortunes. Some of us still think that there is a superior being that will give us misfortune if we not doing as He want. I don't say there is not, but He didn't give us the misfortune, we are the one that make it. Then, how about misfortune that happen even we have done all good things, some of us said that He gave us a trial, to see our faith. That kind of god is so cruel. We, Buddhists said that our bad kamma reached it's maturation.

"So, we can not ask for help ?" according to the text, we can't, but there is a lot of superior beings than us, human that will help us because they have a vow, one of Their vow is "I will not reach nibbana until hell is empty". This vow was said by Ksitigarbha boddhisatva and there is more of Them. All of their names were listed in a Maha Karuna Dharani. The most famous of them is Avalokitesvara Boddhisatva. She appeared in many form, but the most well known form is in a lady form that wear a white robe and carry a bottle and she sit on a Lotus.

So what do you believe ?

The forgotten seasoning

Do you know what is the most important seasoning in the world ? Salt ? No; Love ? No; Then what ?

Let me tell you something, Yesterday, I was sick, sneezing, coughing, my mouth feel bitter. It's awful. I don't feel like to eat anything ! I just want to sleep that time. Then my father told me this : "What is the most important seasoning ?" I said "I don't know !" My Father said "It's health, so go and get some." I didn't get it that time but, when I thought about it, It's make sense. When you sick, all good food out there taste awful, but when you in a good shape, anything look tasty (even some are not as tasty as their look). :)

The Substitution

"When you loose something, you'll eventally get something."

That is one of my favorite sayings from my movies collection, "Kamen Rider Movie : The First". I've watched this movie around 4 times since I have it in 2006. The more I saw it, the more I like it. The story was quite linear, kamen rider typical, a young scientist was kidnapped by "Shocker" and turned into a "Kaijin" (inhumanoid) with some method, maybe surgeries. But eventually is brainwashed brain is return to normal after seeing snowflakes. And after a few scene, he got his motorcycle from Tachibana and he was encouraged by him to use his new power to defeat "Shocker" (insight) with the saying from this article's epilogue.

That saying is quite true, in real life when you get something, for example, a spouse, then you will loose your freedom to tease another girl/boy. Or if you loose your time to grooming your cat, you can play with him/her. So everything have a counterbalance, right - responsibility, dark - light, good - evil, etc. Back to the movie, the movie is a good combination of action and romance, and i never saw the original series, so I can't compare them.

So, have you loose something ?

The Vendetta

When I saw the movie last night, The Kingdom, I was wondering, "How could this thing happened ?" The story is revolved around The USA and Saudi Arabian. Someday there is a bombing in Saudi, a big blast and there is some FBI agents caught in it. Before the FBI agent was caught in it, he call his friend in DC and his friend calmed his friend's wives with a whisper "Don't worry we will kill them all." And somehow, he and his team can enter Saudi, and eventually they got their revenge. In his last moment, the terrorist leader, whisper something to his grandson in Arabian, "don't be afraid my son, we will kill them all." This kind ending is very american, Well, at least there will be another sequel of this movie.

I was wondering the beginning of this vendetta, The WTC tragedy ? Or maybe far before that. There is a prophecy that there is no peace in the middle east until the end of time. Will that prophecy come true ? A lot of this question bugging me, and make me write this article. The movie itself is a military stereotype, a skillful team was charged in the enemy's base and eventually back to USA alive. The music is average and the action is too fast and blood spill here and there. So overall score is 6, but the content is very unpleasant. 

Well, what do you think ?

Guarantee

Some of us relieved that our country guarantee our health. But when we see closer, there is no guarantee at all. In my country the poor get a health guarantee from our government. I said guarantee not insurance, because, the poor didn't pay anything, and they get healthcare service for free even if they must stay in hospital, all of their bill was paid by the government. But what happen next is beyond our imagination. The health care service is inhuman, unpleasant room, unpleasant nurse, unpleasant doctor and even the worst of it, they have to pay more if they add some uncovered medication.

Some of us maybe ask this question : "How could this thing happened ?" Well, a lot of answer occurred because we have no clue where this problem started. But one for sure is wide spread corruption in this country. The government couldn't handle it because a lot of important people that sit in this country involved in it. Plus all kind corruption occurred from germ scale until very large scale happened. Then, some of us ask this question : "What is the proof ?" The answer is easy, while some of the poor get a half-heart guarantee, some from the middle class society, or maybe some of the rich got it too. This things happened because there is no one guarantee the middle class, but for the rich one, I don't know what's in their mind.

Someone Else's Land

What is the measurement for a success ? Money ? Power ? Luxury ? Most people will choose money, because at least everyone can get sick, but if you have no money than you can't treat your illness. Like we all know that Indonesia is a very fertile country, most of it's citizen is a farmer. Ironically almost all Indonesian farmers are poor. This kind situation happened because they didn't have their own land, they did someone else's land. So farmer can't enjoy their own crops and only become a cheap labor. But that is not the only problem, they also deal some other problems, the government itself. The government issue some regulation that make their living become very harsh, from wrong policies about fertilizer and the seedling, until imported crops from fruit until rice, all of of them are imported from outside, and make their live upside down even worse now.

It's almost the same with the medical doctor life in Indonesia. They did someone else clinic or hospital because it give them more money, and they will have no more time to do a private practice. When they have reached certain point in their life, it will be too late for them to do it. The other problem is just the same with the farmer, -Yes- The regulation itself. Most of the regulation are troublesome and even castrate their rights. The government didn't see the bigger picture and only focused in a medical doctor only. The worse enemy than the government is the media. The media sometimes pick more dramatically story, some story they can sell, but they didn't portrait the reality itself, most of their report about health care in the rural areas are lies. They praise the midwifes and nurse that practice in the rural area in middle of nowhere, but not the medical doctor that do the same as they did. And the worst of all is they blow up a health care problems as big as they can. That's unfair you know ! 

With all of this problem will we survive ?

Only time will tell us ...

Please don't Break My Heart Again

In my searching of a good ISP I've found a lot of disappointment. They usually add "unlimited" word to their product, but in fact we only get unlimited waiting time. Some of them is kind enough to have their customer a broken heart because after certain amount of usage, the speed was dropped not just a quarter or one third but almost three quarter. It's much different from their commercial. So, I guess "unlimited" become a luxury in my country not only for that reason, but also a good amount of money to be paid for a good ISP service. 

I've tried to use some ISP, I'm sorry I can't tell you their names and all of them actually have a upside and downside, but most of them broke my heart and my wallet too. So, in a final word i'ld like to say Please delete the ''unlimited" part of your service, because it broke my heart. :)

The Darkest Hour

When we see movies, sometimes we are faced by a scene that there is no solution for a problem, a dead end. The movies usually talk about drastic change, and the result are good, instant. Somehow I wondering if that kind miracle an be happen in the real life, sometimes it's too good to be true. We can say all that kind of pessimistic comment we have, but sometimes miracles did happen.

For some reason I remembered my co - assistant time, some of them engrave good memories but some of them were the bad ones. For us, a medical doctor, our darkest hours happened when our patient refused our treatment and they were getting worst even sometime they blame us for their condition, the medical fees. But the darkest hour happened when we faced the sad faces and grieves of their loved ones and told them that we already have done everything.

In a different side, some of us, medical doctor forget these moments and take the safest way, make money more to paid our debt, our college loan, feed our wife and son. Maybe, I was a hypocrite, because now,I've chosen the same way as they were. But there is no turning back because I have my own goals. I dreamed that medical doctors were gained respectful place in society once more, because it's been too long that our job were tarnished and stained. I dreamed that someday all medical doctors became prosperous from their practices only. Maybe all of that just a dream, but I'm sure someday, just someday all of that dreams comes true.

Risk and Gain

Some people said that play safe in life and you're getting nowhere, but in my opinion it's half true, because sometime, we have already have everything we need to get somewhere in life but we didn't realize it, and we wasted the time and money and any other resources we have to get somewhere in life. The true part of it is sometime we were afraid to sacrifice something, we always tried to keep everything, because we want everything without a single sweat to drop.

In the other side, play unsafe can gain more and once you're slipped you're history, but if you somehow manage to succeeded you'll eventually make a history. What we need to do is knowing our own asset and develop it, the more we know ourselves, the more advantage we have. And of course a bit of luck so we didn't miss a chance that pass through in front our peeled eyes.

So, Play safe or unsafe ?

Mask of Zorro

Yesterday, I saw my files, and I've found old movies, one of it was The Mask of Zorro. The most memorable scene in the movie was the training scene, when the old Zorro tell the meaning of his silver necklace. From inner circle to larger outer circle - or somewhat like that, it means that we should do something from the one we can reach first and to reach something we need to expand our circle. The circle means, our reach of something, our connection, network, friendship.

The other interesting scene was the graduation scene, when the old Zorro gave his mask to the young one. "Cover your hatred with this (mask)", it means that sometimes we need to seek the greater purpose of something we want to do. A lot of advice and philosophy in this movie, I liked it and wanted to watch it more and more sometime.

I'm not the biggest fan of Zorro, but this movie is a good movies and a well balanced movie, the action, comedy, drama were mixed well and showed up in the right time, and a little naughty too. The music and the Original Sound Tracks were good, make the mood up, so it will be 9/10.

A Decision

Have you ever getting tired searching something in your life ? Something that can fill the emptiness, the hole in your heart ? Maybe, but sometimes, it just a beginning of a new opportunity. Sometime we didn't realize that we have been standing too long in a front of a closed door. Sometimes we have become too picky, so, we choose, we, pick, and we take something that really fit to us, but in fact our choice is a bad one. How can something like this happened ? Well, we can say that we were eaten by our own imagination. Here's something I try to solve this kind of problem :

1. Ask more to the people who really know you, and you trust them, They can be anyone, but the close call is     your parents, your best friend, or maybe your teacher at school.
2. Don't Think, Just do It. If you have assured then don't ask someone else, Trust your guts !
3. Never Look Back - In this stage, while you choose your choice, You have to know the impact of your decision, so never look back something you've decided. You made your own decision, you know the impact of your decision, and you can bare the impact

Well, Have You decided something today ?

Imagine ...

Do you ever watch matrix or blade ?
Well, If you ever watch one of those, we, human, create something similar in the real world. When I look into it, it's looked like The Matrix battery system or the blade 2nd with it's blood farm. Tell me if I'm wrong.

I'm not a vegan, I eat chicken, cows, pork, but somehow I feel that we are so cruel, and some give me creeps, what if someday some superior race wins a war and dominate us, and do the same thing as we do with these chickens ?

I can't imagine that day will come to us, I wish I have already dead when it happens. Well, I've found this article complete with these pictures from my facebook friend, and I read it. It's said that these chicken were headless, it means some parts of their brain were cut out so they couldn't feel anything and blind. The part of their brain that intact keep their metabolism and growth, so they got bigger, but somehow have no live and the scientist who make this program claimed that they will not feel anything, or see anything.

Could you imagine that ?

Hulk

Yes, we all know our green friend and we don't want to make him angry right ?

Sometime, when we angry we should remembered that we are not more than Hulk itself -a green giant that can torn apart anything-, yes, when we angry we feel very great, even in some Buddhist textbook "When we angry we become a giant so that ocean is only below his kneels but after the anger was gone and we look back again, we feel smaller than a flea". It means that we feel ashamed and sorry for our deeds, the expression we often to use is "Oh, What have I done ?" It's much or less true, it's like we see in Hulk story when Bruce returned from Hulk form, he feel sorry and ashamed so, he left that ruined place, search an antidote for Hulk.

Actually it's like a reminder for us not to loose a wrath and being rampage, because anger is the worst solution for a problem, it's not resolved it but make another one. But, in certain case, we must not cover our incompetence with an anti anger teachings because, what we aim is the greater cause of the anger itself. So release it in the correct moment, correct amount, and to correct people.

A Glimps from My Ignatian Time

Yesterday, when I met my old friend, He is a pastor now, I remembered my high school years with it's Ignatian teachings. The one that I remembered was "from one sin leap to another sin" or some kind like that. The description is when we do a sin, for example a lie, we eventually will lie again to cover our previous lies, or when we cheat in examination we eventually will cheat again because we were afraid that, If we are not cheating, we will get a bad point and a failing grade, so we do it more and more. The next thing I remembered was my college years. I did almost seven deadly sins in almost every scale. The ignatian teaching was somewhat true, when you did a lie, you'll eventually lie again and if the lies was success you would be proud of your success lies. In the other words you did two kind of sins lied and pride.

According to Ignatian teaching, I did it because I was weak, so I couldn't differentiate the good and the evil influence. It's true either, because I see almost my friend did bad things but somewhat the impact of what their deeds never came to them. It's like living hell, and I almost loose my faith and eventually I did what they did and somewhat it's feel good. But now, I know that my past college years was stained by sins, a lot of it.  But It's true that the antidote for a sin is a bitter one, because we must ready to confess it, and prepared for the impact of it, but one thing you can believe me, It's not as bad as we thought once we pass the judgement, even we feel relieved.

So, Do you know what kind of sins you did today ?

The Time vs The liar

There is a saying that The time is the worst enemy for the liar, that is true, because I have seen so many thing that a lie will revealed eventually (but some are not as easy as another) ;) But in several case it's true, because, when we lied, we actually stop, defending our lies and sometime we go backward, seeking reasons for our next lies so our previous lies will still remain, or get a greater effect. But, even our lies were buried deep somewhere, someday it will resurface and revealed. I'm not talking about your lies will be revealed by someone else, but with your own consciousness, -Yes, a guilt-

In a few Buddhism sect, Avicci, the deepest part of hell was described empty, nothing in there except you and you alone. What the meaning of this ? Well, literally the one who entered that part of Hell is tortured by their own guilt. The time will slip very slow, and it's described that one day on earth is several hundred years in Avicci. It's painful when we think it carefully, because you meet only yourselves and all bad things you ever done is ringing over and over again. No one can help you there, and the punishment length is about almost eternity in a human world (our world).

So, have you ever feel guilty ?

7 Deadly Sins

There is a lot of movies that tell us story about seven deadly sins, and sometime the protagonist must cross some hellish place or situation to atone their sins one by one. That kind situation is really exist. When we were child we often heard seven deadly sins (pride, greed, lust, envy gluttony, wrath, sloth). But none of us each day realize that we fall into it even in slightest part. But we must realize too that sometimes, our friend, brother or our best friend even did it, there is nothing bad happen to them, even good things happen to them. On the contrary while we never did big scale of that sins, we get something unpleasant too often than them.

Why did this thing happen to me ? They have done it further than I did, but there's nothing happen to them. Well, I can afford you simple answer for this, a concept of kamma. Sometime their good kamma still protect them so, there's nothing happen to them, but someday, in the far future, when the bad kamma become mature and the good kamma become obsolete, something unpleasant will happen. so there is a saying in ancient China, When people make a good deed, even the good things are not coming to them, the disasters are going further from them, but when people make a bad deed, even disaster is not coming to them, good things is going further from them.

So, what are we going to believe  ?